Wanted: Gonorrhea!

This may be the strangest blog post ever.

Some background: Yesterday, I posted something tied into the on-going Grey Skies story and forwarded the link to ‘Mrs. T.’ (unfortunately, there is no relation to Mr. T) who has been following the progress of the story. A quick conversation about it led to her reading the ‘Old Friends’ script. I felt the need to explain why there was a police officer on the bus, which to me, seems an odd occurrence.

In response to talking about strange things seen on a bus, Mrs. T told of a friend who rode a bus where a women had Shat on herself. Not just a little shat but a huge dripping shat, that led the the bus having to be hosed down. While debating the embarrassment factor of being a person who shits them self on a crowded bus it led to how embarrassing it is for the people doing the depends commercials, and whether or not the people in them actually use the product or are just embarrassed actors. It could be both.

Finally that led to actors in commercials advertising medicine for sexually transmitted diseases. The question was asked: Mrs T. “I wonder if they have trouble getting dates.” After careful deliberation we determined that those actors are double screwed. First, they can not ask people out without risking then recognizing them from the commercial and rejecting them. Second, they can not easily date anyone who asks them out because of the chance the person has a disease and thinks the actor took the job because, they really do have the disease. Even if their dating situation is grim, they still get to ride horses or do other fun physical activities, as portrayed in the commercials. How un-realistic is that? If all those people were out scuba diving or horse riding they wouldn’t be shagging random people, and become infected in the first place.

Did you follow all of that?

The Set-up: My slightly twisted mind imagined a young actor who has just accepted a role in a series of commercials, that will be national broad-casted, selling a cream to prevent the spread of herpes. This young man, knowing how grim his dating situation will come, decides his best bet would be to contract the disease. It is his opinion that a new actor in those commercials must become infected to effectively play their role. The plus side of getting infected, would be getting out of the house to kayak, or go mountain biking more often, because he thinks doing fun activities is a side effect of herpes. This young actor decides to post his predicament in an ad on ‘craigslist’ in the hopes of finding someone willing to infect him.

His ad: Being so ridiculous, that it is doubtful a single person will fall for it:

WANTED: GONORRHEA!

Hi! I’m Ted. 25 years old. I know this may sound strange but I am looking for partners to make sexy time with me. I am not looking for clean partners like everyone else. I suppose I need ‘dirty’ partners? You see I just got my big break as an actor in a Herpes commercial. I want it to be a big success so I want it to be convincing. For that to happen I need to get infected with herpes. But I don’t want to jump in right away, I would like to test the water with a some-what less serious disease: gonorrhea! then after I experiment with that, I’ll consider picking up other diseases. How bad could it be? all you infected people do is swim, or walk on the beach all day, and that sounds pretty good to me. So don’t wait around until AFTER I’m a huge star in my commercial before you ask me out. You can help me be a better actor by infecting me NOW! We start filming in 12 weeks so if you want to help me, email me and tell me what disease you have, and why you are going to be nice enough to share it with me. Thank you, and god bless. Theodore Redmond Jr.

The Responses: I’ll post all replies to the ad as they come in, editing out personal information. Let’s hope for some good ones to laugh at.

1

Comments

  1. Beercrazyjen  May 19, 2007

    Lord. That’s great.

    reply

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