Tanya sent me a craigslist link: FREE MONKEY TO GOOD HOME,(links dead now, but the ad said free monkey to good home. it was from a collage student who said he couldnt keep him and it had a phone number) I was all like "fuck yeah, a monkey!" It's just one of those things you want but when you got the money you never think, 'I'm going to buy me that monkey I always wanted'. But this monkey didn't even need to be paid for, no sir, this monkey was 100% free to a good home. Guess what I have? A good home. Sounds like a match made in monkey heaven right?
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So I'm sitting in my computer chair, just relaxing and drinking a miller 'chill' (piss water with lime. And before you wonder if these are good. No they suck. Don't buy them.) when I hear my bedroom door open and then slam upstairs. I hear my wife stomp down the steps. Just by her walk, i can tell she's pissed about something. But that's pretty much a daily occurrence so i don't even bother to look up and ask her if she's alright.
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Three Moments Pt. 2

Three moments that has happened to me over the course of my life. Three moments I will never forget. Three moments that changed me. Three moments that, until now, I haven't shared. Three moments that I wish I could understand.

Brush with Lightning.

My mother was out of cigarettes again. She didn't have a car and if my brother or me was around, that meant that one of us would be sent to the store. This was back when we lived in the row homes in Brooklyn Park MD. Not quite the projects, but close enough. I'm not sure exactly how old I was at the time, probably 14, maybe 15, but way to young to purchase cigarettes. (more...)