Awhile back I wrote an article on the reasons why myspace sucks. It still sucks, but I still use it. After signing in one day I noticed that the bulletin space was filled with the same reposted bulletin. Approximately 10 of my friends had reposted the same junk.

The contents of the bulletin was about saving baby seals. A worthwhile cause, I’m sure. They are so cute and cuddly, who could resist, right? Wrong.

The first problem I had is that it was written in the first person. Hate to be the bearer of bad news but baby seals can’t talk let alone write myspace bulletins.

Second problem is that reposting this does not make you an animal rights activist. I’m not saying you don’t care but let’s be honest here, has anyone reading this ever broken into a research lab and freed all the lab monkeys? No? It doesn’t really matter. I just wonder how does spreading these change anything? Maybe you think that by reposting it one million times, eventually the guy who was clubbing the seal in the pictures might log into his myspace, see the bulletin and say ‘Gee, that seal is right. I quit!’

Back to the point. The same people who got pissed off when receiving these spam messages in their email are the same ones who are now spaming their friends. It’s just now easier to click and repost than it is to forward to your contacts.

There must be a network for jackasses sitting around writing these things. For what purpose nobody knows.

Enough is enough. When ever I notice a particular spam message being past around my friends list I’ll go ahead and post it too, but I’m going to modify it to make it as offensive or idiotic as possible. Hell, this might even be fun.

The first victim is the formentioned ’save the seals post’ . Modified and reposted I almost immediately started to receive ‘negative comments’ for the changes I made. To make it clear, I have nothing against seals.

Here is the first of the Modified myspace bulletins. Formatting and Images have been removed but remain intact in the provided code.

Title: Let’s Hunt Seal. (READ & REPOST THIS)
We all know how good it feels to be wacked over the head with a…. (Image of spiked axe)

I’ve just created a new kind of tourism. Killing baby seals. I call it a “sport”.. Just like wak-a-mole but so much more fun! You gotta try it!

You want to call this a sport ? YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT, I DO!

(image of seal getting beat like a red headed stepchild)

Is he a sportsman? ARE YOU FUCKIN’ RETRARDED, YES!

(Image of cute baby seal)

Why do seals like to be bashed in the head, who knows.

(Image of seal getting owned)

You’re our only hope !!! We need you to come to your local north pole and stomp the shit out of us. Hurry before we’re gone!

(Image of seal getting owned)

This barbarism shouldn’t be possible in our society.. But thanks to these rocking MoFo’s, seal bashing will be a bigger sport than baseball football and soccer put together. Thank you!

Don’t turn your back on us, we are defenseless. DEFENSELESS LIKE A TIGER hahaha! we might look cute and cuddly but if you don’t bash us in the head, We’ll follow you home and eat your babies! No shit, we eat babies…

I know these images seem painful for you, but we feel the pain. We are being slaughtered and its going on RIGHT NOW… SO HURRY YOUR ASSES UP AND JOIN THE FUN

What gives him the right to kill us? Who is he to decide about life and death? NOTHING SHOULD BE KILLED THIS WAY! BUT BABIES SEALS.. That’s what we’re here for.

What kind of sport is this? I didn’t harm anyone. I was just swimming around.. WACK. NOW I’m a fur coat. Good game man, good game!

Please help me and my friends… There are way to many of us. We need a pick axe through the head. what are you still sitting around for?

You cant just ignore these images.. Keeping silent and doing nothing it makes you guilty… OF BEING A CANDY ASS.

(Image of dead seals)

Please help us… or we’ll eat your babies.

Please don’t leave us alone… We taste like chicken.

STOP THE KILLING OF SEALS. < — That’s a typo, It should say STOMP AND KILL ALL OF SEALS. our mistake.

You can make a statement by
reposting this to get as many people as you can
to repost this.
Bring these murderers to the attention
of world leaders.
Thank you!!!!

B.t.w…did anyone of you idiots stop and think for a second you actually read a post as if written in the first person by a baby fucking seal? yeah, didn’t think so… REPOST. (stealthfiction.com)

(Image of a cute seal)

If you want to join in the fun copy the code below and post it on myspace or send it to all your friends.

Also check out this post for more anti-spam message fun.