Seals and Spam.

Awhile back I wrote an article on the reasons why myspace sucks. It still sucks, but I still use it. After signing in one day I noticed that the bulletin space was filled with the same reposted bulletin. Approximately 10 of my friends had reposted the same junk.

The contents of the bulletin was about saving baby seals. A worthwhile cause, I’m sure. They are so cute and cuddly, who could resist, right? Wrong.

The first problem I had is that it was written in the first person. Hate to be the bearer of bad news but baby seals can’t talk let alone write myspace bulletins.

Second problem is that reposting this does not make you an animal rights activist. I’m not saying you don’t care but let’s be honest here, has anyone reading this ever broken into a research lab and freed all the lab monkeys? No? It doesn’t really matter. I just wonder how does spreading these change anything? Maybe you think that by reposting it one million times, eventually the guy who was clubbing the seal in the pictures might log into his myspace, see the bulletin and say ‘Gee, that seal is right. I quit!’

Back to the point. The same people who got pissed off when receiving these spam messages in their email are the same ones who are now spaming their friends. It’s just now easier to click and repost than it is to forward to your contacts.

There must be a network for jackasses sitting around writing these things. For what purpose nobody knows.

Enough is enough. When ever I notice a particular spam message being past around my friends list I’ll go ahead and post it too, but I’m going to modify it to make it as offensive or idiotic as possible. Hell, this might even be fun.

The first victim is the formentioned ‘save the seals post’ . Modified and reposted I almost immediately started to receive ‘negative comments’ for the changes I made. To make it clear, I have nothing against seals.

Here is the first of the Modified myspace bulletins. Formatting and Images have been removed but remain intact in the provided code.

Title: Let’s Hunt Seal. (READ & REPOST THIS)
We all know how good it feels to be wacked over the head with a…. (Image of spiked axe)

I’ve just created a new kind of tourism. Killing baby seals. I call it a “sport”.. Just like wak-a-mole but so much more fun! You gotta try it!

You want to call this a sport ? YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT, I DO!

(image of seal getting beat like a red headed stepchild)

Is he a sportsman? ARE YOU FUCKIN’ RETRARDED, YES!

(Image of cute baby seal)

Why do seals like to be bashed in the head, who knows.

(Image of seal getting owned)

You’re our only hope !!! We need you to come to your local north pole and stomp the shit out of us. Hurry before we’re gone!

(Image of seal getting owned)

This barbarism shouldn’t be possible in our society.. But thanks to these rocking MoFo’s, seal bashing will be a bigger sport than baseball football and soccer put together. Thank you!

Don’t turn your back on us, we are defenseless. DEFENSELESS LIKE A TIGER hahaha! we might look cute and cuddly but if you don’t bash us in the head, We’ll follow you home and eat your babies! No shit, we eat babies…

I know these images seem painful for you, but we feel the pain. We are being slaughtered and its going on RIGHT NOW… SO HURRY YOUR ASSES UP AND JOIN THE FUN

What gives him the right to kill us? Who is he to decide about life and death? NOTHING SHOULD BE KILLED THIS WAY! BUT BABIES SEALS.. That’s what we’re here for.

What kind of sport is this? I didn’t harm anyone. I was just swimming around.. WACK. NOW I’m a fur coat. Good game man, good game!

Please help me and my friends… There are way to many of us. We need a pick axe through the head. what are you still sitting around for?

You cant just ignore these images.. Keeping silent and doing nothing it makes you guilty… OF BEING A CANDY ASS.

(Image of dead seals)

Please help us… or we’ll eat your babies.

Please don’t leave us alone… We taste like chicken.

STOP THE KILLING OF SEALS. < --- That's a typo, It should say STOMP AND KILL ALL OF SEALS. our mistake. You can make a statement by reposting this to get as many people as you can to repost this. Bring these murderers to the attention of world leaders. Thank you!!!! B.t.w...did anyone of you idiots stop and think for a second you actually read a post as if written in the first person by a baby fucking seal? yeah, didn't think so... REPOST. (stealthfiction.com) (Image of a cute seal)

If you want to join in the fun copy the code below and post it on myspace or send it to all your friends.


We all know how good it feels to be wacked over the head with a....






I've just created a new kind of tourism. Killing baby seals. I call it a "sport".. Just like wak-a-mole but so much more fun! You gotta try it!



You want to call this a sport ? YOUR DAMN RIGHT, I DO!
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Is he a sportsman? ARE YOU FUCKIN' RETRARDED, YES!

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Why do seals like to be bashed in the head, who knows.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

You're our only hope !!! We need you to come to your local north pole and stomp the shit out of us. Hurry before we're gone!

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

This barbarism shouldnt be possible in our society.. But thanks to these rocking MoFo's, seal bashing will be a bigger sport than baseball football and soccer put together. Thank you!



Dont turn your back on us, we are defenseless. DEFENSELESS LIKE A TIGER hahaha! we might look cute and cudley but if you don't bash us in the head, We'll follow you home and eat your babies! No shit, we eat babies...



I know these images seem painful for you, but we feel the pain. We are being slaughtered and its going on RIGHT NOW... SO HURRY YOUR ASSES UP AND JOIN THE FUN



What gives him the right to kill us? Who is he to decide about life and death? NOTHING SHOULD BE KILLED THIS WAY! BUT BABIES SEALS.. That's what we're here for.



What kind of sport is this? I didnt harm anyone. I was just swimming around.. WACK. NOW I'm a fur coat. Good game man, good game!



Please help me and my friends... There are way to many of us. We need a pick axe through the head. what are you still sitting around for?



You cant just ignore these images.. Keeping silent and doing nothing it makes you guilty... OF BEING A CANDY ASS.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Please help us... or we'll eat your babies.



Please dont leave us alone... We taste like chicken.



STOP THE KILLING OF SEALS. < --- That's a typo, It should say STOMP AND KILL ALL OF SEALS. our mistake.



You can make a statement by
reposting this to get as many people as you can
to repost this.
Bring these murderers to the attention
of world leaders.
Thank you!!!!


Btw...did anyone of you idiots stop and hink for a second you actually read a post as if written in the first person by a baby fucking seal? yeah, didn't think so... REPOST. (stealthfiction.com)

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

(hit reply to sender and copy it from there (if you dont the pictures wont show up when you do.)

Also check out this post for more anti-spam message fun.

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Comments

  1. Tanya  August 14, 2006

    OMG Kris, you are insane!! 😉

    reply
  2. Robin  August 14, 2006

    Poor baby seals. You are so mean.

    reply
  3. Beercrazyjen  August 16, 2006

    That was a damn funny bulletin.

    reply
  4. Nik  August 30, 2006

    Testing gravatars, delete this if you like

    reply
  5. Shadow  September 9, 2006

    rofl your such a faggot its a disgrace its just trying to connect to people u illiterate cunt :)) fucking n00b

    reply
  6. Kris  September 9, 2006

    it’s nice to see other illiterate cunts stop by once in awhile and leave a comment that hardly makes any sense. thanks man, great blog by the way.

    reply
  7. jess  November 13, 2006

    Oh come on! Seals are killed every day And us only one or two. seals in 1994 there were 4.8 millon seals around ok to kill then 1996 and 1997 275,000-250,000 blood blood and more blood just for a fat lady to keep warm this thing stinks dude it was aganist the law now it ain’t to many seal were killed!some parts of a seal are not used. hey your a seal you get hit in the head and fur worn by a fat lady or man how do you fell now fat boy! WE got alot of kids at my school i can get to help save the seals fat boy.

    reply
  8. Alicia  June 8, 2007

    i fucking love you, besides almost all of those pictures are somehow photoshopped.

    haha i reposted the bulliten, and gave you credit :]

    reply
  9. Alicia  June 8, 2007

    i effin love you, besides almost all of those pictures are somehow photoshopped.

    haha i reposted the bulliten, and gave you credit :]

    reply
  10. crystal  October 14, 2007

    This shit is fucked up!! Who ever it is bashing seals over the head needs to get bashed in there head! I can’t believe people acualy do this crap.

    reply
  11. cadey  October 17, 2007

    poor babys their probly thinking why why me HELP THEM

    reply
  12. baby  October 20, 2007

    u mother fuckin idiots you are so fuckin discuting i cant believe it im crying right now even though you dont see it i am you bitches

    reply
  13. nicole  July 12, 2008

    what the hell is wrong with you? So what if the baby seals didnt actually SAY that but use your common sense bastard. Would you actually LIKE getting hit over the head as a sport? You probably would like it based on what you have said. You disgusting inhuman retard.Its is indeed right to bash things over their heads and cause them to be extinct cos the thing we are bashing are those fu**ing idiots like you.

    reply
  14. Bridge  May 10, 2009

    Sure, annoying myspace bulletins full of meaningless babble that you’ve seen about 60 times get on people’s nerves. This bulletin, however, has a meaningful topic about an unjust and cruel thing that is actually happening in the world right now. I can’t honestly believe that you have absolutely no compassion for helpless seals. If you are one of those people that doesn’t give a rats ass if an animal lives or dies, than that really sucks. You’re selfish and ignorant.
    Obviously it is written in first person just for the purpose of putting in a different perspective for the reader. You don’t have to like the writing style, but it gets the message across.
    And the reason, you meathead, that reposting is important, is to spread AWARENESS. Believe it or not, there are people who’ve never heard of the seal slaughtering. And the bulletin may not make you an “animal rights activist”, but it inspired me, as well as many other people I’m sure, to research further, and at least petition to stop it.
    Nice blog, by the way. Your topic is as petty and shallow, not to mention ridiculous, as the potty mouths who’ve read and been entertained by it. By posting that stupid bulletin you prove to your friends how childish and heartless you are.

    reply
  15. MySpace Requests  September 9, 2009

    Hey, great post, very well written.

    reply
  16. alien  November 11, 2009

    W. T .F
    is wrong with you people you go around bashing the shit out of seals baby and adult you make me sick i will try to completly destroy this website you
    have no heart no respect and dnt ever want to run into me on the street i will get you destroy this site and leave you dead in a gutter you f^cked up retards!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    reply
  17. alien  November 11, 2009

    This is Meerkat. You guys are sick twisted sons of btchs! if i ever see you, i am likely to either top myself, or cut you ugly effed up throats!

    reply
  18. Anonymous  November 11, 2009

    You guys are all sick and twisted and need tonnes of help because you are deranged psychopathic morons. Your behavior is deplorable and a crime against humanity and nature. Bashing baby seals heads in is not a sport it is a disgusting and appaling habit that you have developed because of your own pathetic, miserable and f****d up lives.
    I would really like to see how you like it to get your heads bashed in.
    Dickheads!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    reply
  19. cass  November 11, 2009

    u guy ar so f^cked up in the heads this is so sick what u do 2 baby seals just killing then 4 fun its sad. what was ur life like, 4 u 2 do this. my friends and i will kill this website and u if u walk pass us in the street ur sick and mentally deranged!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    and 2 say that seals want 2 get bashed y wtf would they want 2 get bashed and what if u got bashed and we sad that u wanted 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    reply
  20. Kris  November 13, 2009

    You people are morons. It’s a spoof on all those stupid chain letters that bitches like you like to send.

    Go fuck yourself,
    Me.

    reply

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