December 14, 2007 11:15 AM.
Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton announces Mayor Rudy Giuliani as Neo-Con running mate.
WASHINGTON, DC – In a shocking move friday, Senator Clinton announced her partnership with former New York City Mayor, Rudy Giuliani. She later went on to explain the logistics of the partnership and their bipartisan run as independents. The attendees of the press conference were buzzing with excitement as they contemplated this latest development in the 2008 presidential race. “I made the decision to leave the party after the Des Moines register debate. The American People always had their suspicions that I may not be human, and after the Jekyll-like sounds that I had made at Obama, I began to worry that my secret was finally out.“
Mrs. Clinton took her first question from one of the several FOX News representatives that she had personally invited to the event. The reporter asked, “By running with your former adversary, it shows your dedication to this country. We have no doubts that your administration would be the finest in the history of the United States. We think you’re going to win, but how about you, how do you rate the chances of winning with rudy in 2008?” Without any hesitation, a desirable characteristic of a potential president, Mrs. Clinton replied, “We think our chances of taking this elections are very, very, very good. In-fact, I don’t think we can be beat.” She then winked to someone that was standing to the right of the stage, which later reports reveal the person to be, Walden O’Dell, C.E.O. of Diebold, the makers of a majority of electronic voting machines in the U.S. Coincidence? Fox News says yes.
Not everything went smoothly at the conference. At one point, an unknown reporter, who had apparently came uninvited, raised his hand to ask a question, Seconds after Mrs. Clinton called on him and realized that the question he asked was not one of those that she had planted herself, she became clearly annoyed. This reporter began to bash the Clinton / Giuliani ticket on foreign policy, however, Mrs. Clinton handled the situation like a pro by pretending she had called on someone else, thus ignoring the rouge reporter altogether.
Later, Mrs. Clinton called on her running mate Mr. Giuliani to come on stage to make a statement. With great excitement Rudy jumped in front of the podium with such force, that it caused Mrs. Clinton to literally trip and fall off of the stage with a loud thud. Mr. Giuliani then raised his arms in the air with the pointer and middle fingers of each hand spread open in a ‘V’, exactly like President Richard Nixon used to do during his presidential run in the sixties. Rudy leaned forward and said triumphantly into the microphone, “Nine…. Eleven!” The audience then proceeded to give him a standing ovation.
Even with the alliance between Hillary and Rudy now firmly established, she made it clear that they still had a long road ahead of them. “There’s a lot of things left that we need to work out,” She said with a smile, “for example, we still need to find a way to game the system so that we can keep Dick Cheney on the staff.“
After the event, news sources scurried to find information on what a Hillary / Giuliani administration would look like. Unfortunately, at the present time, we were only able to find a single image, care of freakingnews.com: