Misplaced

there’s nothing fine , it’s crippling
like a fire , burning slowly
and it’s all right , when it goes away
needed a chance to erase our past

it’s fine when it goes away
well i’m fine when I go away
it’s fine when it goes away
well i’m fine so please go away

there’s something wrong , it’s torturing
like a nightmare , fading coldly
and it’s all right , when you go away
never had a chance to forget about you

It’s not fine , well , it’s not fine

it’s not fine , well , it’s not fine

Just get out , please go , just go away!

it’s fine when it goes away
well i’m fine when I go away
it’s fine when it goes away
well your fine , now I’ve gone away

Everything’s so fucked now , lost my mind
like a psycho , I sold my soul today
and it’s all right , love has gone away
here’s your chance , go , get rid of me

it’s fine when it goes away
well i’m fine when I go away
it’s fine when it goes away
well we’re fine cause I’ve gone away

it’s all fine , well it’s all fine

it’s all fine , well it’s all fine

it’s all gone and they’re all fine now that i’m insane

1

Comments

  1. Poetess Laureate  August 10, 2006

    there’s nothing fine , it’s crippling
    like a fire , burning slowly
    and it’s all right , when it goes away
    needed a chance to erase our past

    it’s fine when it goes away
    well i’m fine when I go away
    it’s fine when it goes away
    well i’m fine so please go away

    there’s something wrong , it’s torturing
    like a nightmare , fading coldly
    and it’s all right , when you go away
    never had a chance to forget about you

    It’s not fine , well , it’s not fine

    it’s not fine , well , it’s not fine
    An enjoyable useage of spacing. Am I right to guess this is reflectedin the music as well?

    Just get out , please go , just go away!

    it’s fine when it goes away
    well i’m fine when I go away
    it’s fine when it goes away
    well your fine , now I’ve gone away

    Everything’s so fucked now , lost my mind
    like a psycho , I sold my soul today
    and it’s all right , love has gone away
    here’s your chance , go , get rid of me
    Meh. Profanity or “shocking” language should, well, shock us, and for a reason. This useage just seems gratuitous, which weakens it a little.

    it’s fine when it goes away
    well i’m fine when I go away
    it’s fine when it goes away
    well we’re fine cause I’ve gone away
    Subtle changes on the choruses make me have to re-read them – good. You want people finding more to notice as they read/listen to it over again.

    it’s all fine , well it’s all fine

    it’s all fine , well it’s all fine

    it’s all gone and they’re all fine now that i’m insane
    Normally I’d object to this last line, as “insane” tends to be a slightly overused word. But it works here, I think. It ends the piece on a fairly strong note.

    Overall: clean up capitalization and punctuation. The rhyme scheme is intriguing because it’s an unusual one, and I like it a great deal. The tension between “it’s fine” and “it’s not fine” is also well played.

    reply

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