Like most days, Michelle had already left for work by the time Josh woke-up that next morning. She had recently taken a part time job at Babbling Brook so she could keep a separate bank account to secretly save up money so that she could one day run off to some tropical island with some someone who’s body resembled that of Fabio instead of the Pillsbury Dough-boy.
It wasn’t that she didn’t love Josh but he simply drove her crazy. For example, if you asked him what she did for a living, he wouldn’t know, some days he thought she was a cleaning lady, other days he thought she was in charge of the place. If that wasn’t bad enough, he didn’t even know where she actually worked. Her place of employment definitely was not called ‘Babbling Brook’, Josh had overheard a conversation she was having on the phone one day, that name was mentioned. She tried to correct him, but her efforts were futile, since that day, she had to explain to at least a dozen that she really does not work at a Brook that babbles. Also, for the record, she had held her job for several years, and had not ‘recently started working’ as Josh liked to explain it.
Josh was still in bed trying to fall back to sleep for a few more minutes. He had an elaborate alarm system that was sure to wake even the most dedicated sleepers. It went something like this: First, he would hit the snooze button on the alarm clock that Michelle sets for him each night. Second, he would hit it again, when the alarm went off the second time. Next, he would turn off the alarm clock completely and fall back to sleep while waiting for the final step which was the telephone ringing and ringing until he couldn’t stand it any longer and picked up the receiver.
“Ehhhhhhh-loow”, Josh grumbled into the phone.
“DAMN IT. WAKE UP, GET YOUR LAZY ASS TO WORK JOSH OR I SWEAR, ONE OF THESE DAYS I’M GOI–“, Josh had hung up the phone. It was a fail proof alarm system.
Instead of skipping breakfast, josh skipped the shower, the shave, and the toothbrush. Breakfast was, after all, most important, he thought. Had he told that to someone, they might try to correct him and explain that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. And that personal hygiene should be slightly more important than watching cartoons in your tighty-whitey underwear while gorging on a super sized portion of Lucky Charm’s cereal. Josh would have to disagree.
Leaving his dishes unwashed in the sink and the box of cereal open on the counter, Josh slipped into his clothes, the same clothes he wore the day before, and headed off to work. At the exact time josh started the car, he was officially two hours late, which as you probably have guessed was right on schedule for Josh.
If you are wondering how someone could constantly be late to their job and not get fired, the answer is simple. Months ago, Michelle called Josh’s boss and asked that her husbands hours be changed. Instead of arriving at 9 A.M. he should be there at Noon. Nether one of them had told Josh of the change, so that he would always be on time for work. The only drawback to the otherwise perfect plan, was that instead of leaving work at 5 P.M. like most people. He stayed 8 P.M. giving him a full 8 hour day, but to josh, who thought he started work at 9 A.M. had an enlarged since of self worth, for all the overtime he was putting in.
Things around town seemed much more lively that morning when Josh was driving to work. There were camera crews at the liquor store he shopped at. People in the parking lot holding balloons. There was a huge banner stretched across the highway that said: “Congratulations Madison! We got us a Winner!” Josh shrugged. He assumed the circus was coming back to town.
When Josh got to work, everyone there was talking about it. The grand total, just shy of 900 Million dollars had been won, but the winner had not yet come forward. Everyone kept an eye on the Television, waiting for the news reporter to announce the name of the person who won. The ticket was purchased in the neighborhood store , so everyone hoped the winner was someone they knew.
“Well, none of us won. Everyone showed up to work today.” Dan, the manager, laughed.
“Can you imagine. I bet the lucky bastard is already on jet to the Bahamas.”, One of the employees said.
“They are probably just scared to come forward yet. You know, all the the vultures come out of the wood work when they smell money. What do you think Josh?” Dan said.
“Huh?” Josh asked. He was already day dreaming.
Dan gestured to the T.v.
“Oh.”, Josh Said. “The Circus. Yeah, I don’t think I’m going to go this year.”
“You’re Right! It’s a Circus out there, and NONE of us are invited.”, One of the employee’s joked, and everyone laughed again. Dan clapped Josh on the back. “That was a good one!”
“Err, Thanks.”, Josh said, Not getting what was so funny about a second rate circus.
“Seriously though,” Dan said, ” I can’t believe one of our own town folk hit the 900 million jackpot. And the number’s they played, it’s no wonder there was only one winner! It must have been a joke!”
Everyone, except for Josh, burst out laughing again. It finally hit him that someone won the lottery. He paused for a moment wondering how to word his next sentence so he didn’t appear to be an idiot for actually thinking they were talking about the circus.
“Jee, I kind of fell asleep early last night so I don’t have all the details on Who-won-the-lottery. What do you mean by, ‘it musta been a joke’, dan?”
“You didn’t hear that part?” Dan said. Everyone laughed.
“No, I guess i didn’t”, Josh said.
“Get this. The numbers the person played, the numbers that won the biggest jackpot of all time…” Dan paused, letting the suspense build. Josh slowly took a deep breath and held it.
“are… 1……”, Dan continued.
Josh nodded. “1? Yeah, go on” he said, still holding his breath.
Not able to hold his amusement any longer, Dan quickly blurted out, “2! 3! 4! 5! 6!!!!” The whole office exploded in laughter that didn’t stop until minutes later.
Luckily for Josh, because everyone was so caught up in there own laughter, no one noticed the fact that all the color in his face had went paper white. His hands trembling, he quietly reached into the front pockets of the pants he had worn yesterday, fishing around for a lotto ticket that wasn’t there. His mind was stuck in a loop, the memory of himself buying his first lotto ticket. He was picturing himself looking at all the numbers he could choose, he figured the first 6 were as good as any.
1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. The number’s of the winning ticket. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. The number’s Josh picked. He left the guys, who were still laughing, and went into the bathroom. He was sure that he was the mystery winner everyone was looking for. Still fishiing around in his pockets with both hands, Josh had only one problem, he could not remember what the hell he had done with the ticket.Share