Joshua Harris was waiting in line at the liquor store to pay for his case of beer. Josh noticed the advertisement for the Mega Millions Jackpot had changed from his last visit. It now read, “The Largest jackpot in U.S. history could be yours!” He had never played the lottery before, he figured it was for suckers and would rather spend the cost of the ticket on some beef jerky or a bag of potato chips instead of giving his money away.
“Hey Kelly, how much is that lotto up to now?” He asked the clerk.
“876 Million. Largest pot ever. Nobody has won in over two months.”
“Yeah, Crazy.” Josh stared at the sign thinking. Finally he said, “I think I’ll buy a ticket.”
“Yeah. Just one.”
“What numbers would you like to play?”
Josh picked up a brochure for the lottery. On the back was a list of numbers. Josh, at random, pointed at numbers and read them off. The clerk bagged up his beer and handed josh the lottery ticket with his change, which he placed in his wallet.
By the time he got home, he had forgotten about the ticket. He drank his beer and watched his football game. Fell asleep on the recliner, woke up at 11:50 P.M. shut off the T.V. and then went up to bed. This was Josh’s routine. He did it every night.
Michelle, Josh’s wife, wasn’t too happy with how things were in their marriage. She worked hard, took care of the house work, did the shopping, made the meals and even took out the garbage. She worked out on the treadmill and did pilates daily to keep in shape. While josh, on the other hand, was lazy, did nothing around the house, drank beer and watched sports daily, he was becoming overweight, and what pissed her off most of all was his refusal to come to bed at night with her.
She groaned loudly when he stumbled into bed. “Oh, Did I wake you, shelly?” He asked? “No,” she said in a sarcastic tone, “I had my eyes closed because I wanted to see the back of my eye lids.” Not even paying attention to what she said, he simply replied, “That’s nice,” rolled on his side, and wiggled around to get comfortable.
The lottery drawing, that Josh had forgotten about, had taken place at 9 P.M. that night. By 11 P.M. the news stations were reporting there had finally been a winner, a single winner, who had won the biggest jackpot ever. While Josh happily snored away, and Michelle cursed at him while trying the fall asleep, the lottery agents were tracking down what city had sold the winning ticket. They determined the winning ticket was sold at a liquor store in a suburb of Madison Wisconsin, the same store Josh buys his beer.
The last thing josh did, on what may have been the luckiest day of his life, happened at 11:59 P.M, when he loudly farted, waking up Michelle again, and then drifted off to sleep.Share