Irish Pub Fiasco

My wife was away for the whole weekend. She was at a 4th of july family reunion. I stayed home and made my own fun.

The following was accomplished with the help of my buddy Jason Hooper, during his 4 day visit.

Things Robin wouldn’t have approved of, that I did anyway:

  • Sneak off to Atlantic city.
  • Play Xbox360 all day long.
  • Go to multiple strip clubs.
  • Even more gambling online.
  • Every meal was fast food.
  • Get drunk at various bars.
  • Beer pong with strangers.
  • Invite Strangers over to party.
  • Attempt to NOT get shot by Dover PD.
  • Did the last line get your attention?

    It was a Sunday evening. The plan was to buy some more beer and a bottle or two of southern comfort. Go out to a bar. Invite some more random people to come hang out at my house.

    My wife was gone out of town; she couldn’t stop us. We had the funds, the location, willing Dover strangers, everything to get a good party started. We only had to go to the liquor store and buy the alcohol.

    A minor issue drove our plans to a screeching halt. It was 8:45PM. All the liquor stores in De. close at 8:00 PM on Sundays.

    Fuck Dover, Fuck Delaware. The party idea went out the window. So we switched to plan B. Every adult male who has ever been bored when their bad ass original plan gets smashed to pieces has resorted to it: Aimlessly drive around whatever city or town you happen be in. It’s suposed to be fool proof.

    After driving around for awhile, not finding anything to do, we realize that Sundays in Dover suck. When all else fails, try an Irish pub.

    We end up in Mike’s Irish pub. A hole in the wall joint but everything considered it isn’t a bad place to hang out. Except on this particular Sunday it happened to be a sausage fest. (Not that I care. Jason’s single and I was looking out for his interests….yeah, that’s it.) There was 10 or more males to every female there.

    We decided to stick around for a beer or two and try and catch a game of pool. Jason waited his turn to play, I downed my corona and stepped outside for some air.

    While out front, this car pulls up and a black guy asks to use my phone. Not a problem, I let him use it and he tries to call several numbers. saying ‘Fuck’, ‘Shit’, or ‘Damn’ after each one of his calls fails to get answered.

    He put his head down in shame while telling me about this great plan of his to go to a party but that all the girls he was supposed to go with wont answer their phone now. so all he could think to do was to come hang out at mike’s pub. I pretend like I’m not as pathetic as him. He gave my phone back and I go back inside.

    Hooper started playing against the winner of the last round who happened to be one of the few girls in the place. She wasn’t half bad looking either. I sat back and watched as the game picked up.

    Everyone seemed to be having fun. Then on the other side of the bar people started yelling as a fight broke out. Hooper and his partner abandon the game to watch the fight. People are jumping out of the way and a few seconds later we hear the word ‘gun’.

    Someone screamed the guy had a gun. People ran out of the bar. The bartender screamed for everyone to get the fuck out.

    Hooper didn’t move. He had this ‘Bevis and Butt-head, Huh-huh Huh-huh Cool!’ look on his face. So of course I stay there watching too.

    A few people have this guy pinned down to the ground. He screams “Let the fuck up off-a me. I’ma gonnna fucking kill all y’all motherfuckas!” Logic tells me he’s the guy that has the gun, If he does manage to get up, he might go through with that threat.

    It’s been a minute or two and the police were going to get there sooner or later. Time to go.

    We walk out of the bar and hear, “FREEZE!”, “DROP IT!”, “GET DOWN!”, and “GET DOWN ON THE GROUND NOW!” All at the same time. The whole street is blocked off with cop cars. I’m not even sure how many guns were pointed at us.

    I still had my phone in my hand when we exited the bar and I thought ‘Shit, don’t shoot me. Not a gun dude. Just a cell phone’. But all i managed to say was, “Uhhhhh” and I slowly placed my phone on the bench.

    A group of cops told us to walk backwards towards them. We still had our hands up, just in case.

    It took the cops 2 minutes to get there and block off the roads. One guy had a shotgun, another had a rifle. They looked like they were ready for war. Way to go Dover PD.

    Then a few cops come running past us, Commando style, and what do they do… They run right past the god damn bar. Hooper yelled “hey hey hey! guys! the person with the GUN is in THERE!”, pointing into the bar they just ran by.

    It was clear how embarrassed they were when they finally figured out they jogged right past the crime scene. I had to suppress my fit of laughter for fears of their remaining friends outside. If you get ‘mistakenly’ shot, your having a bad day..

    We sneak past the street barricade. A group of people was gawking at the scene. I asked “who said nothing exiting ever happens around here?”

    On a completely unrelated noted: on the way home we passed dunken donuts. exactly 2 minutes a way….

    Here’s the story from the Wboc website explaining what happened.

    DOVER- The police say a Dover man is behind bars after he and an accomplice robbed another man in a bar restroom early Monday morning.

    Luis Ortiz, 34, of 888 Lincoln St., is charged with first-degree robbery, second-degree conspiracy, possession of a deadly weapon during the commission of a felony and possession of a firearm by person prohibited, according to the police.

    The police say at 12:30 a.m. Ortiz and another man confronted the victim, a 24-year-old male, inside the men’s room at Irish Mike’s Bar located on 107 W. Loockerman St. The victim said Ortiz displayed a handgun and demanded property from him, taking his silver necklace before he left the bathroom. As Ortiz and the other man exited the restroom, the victim grabbed Ortiz and held onto him until the police arrived. The second suspect ran away and is only described by the victim as a black male, the police said.

    The victim was not injured during the incident

    Ortiz is being held at the Delaware Correctional Center on a $45,500 bond.



    1. TatteredRagDoll  July 5, 2006

      Ha ha ha ha! Glad ya posted that, I would of been highly disapointed if ya didn’t!

    2. Kris  July 5, 2006

      “Protect and serve!” woohoo.

    3. Robin  July 5, 2006

      The only thing I would not have approved of was the “party”. Who the hell invites strangers from a random bar to their house. Sorry that was just dumb. And what are you a teenager just waiting to have a party when mom leaves. Come on.

    4. Kris  July 5, 2006

      …yeah, pretty much, hun. love ya.

    5. chrissy  July 5, 2006

      Dude what a night!

    6. Joe  July 5, 2006

      Robin has to be away for the weekend before you have an interesting stroy? 😉 — Sunday night we watched fireworks while Robin tried to figure out how to work her camera (actually, she got her camera working and got some pics too). If only your blog had more regular updates :) — of course, I’m not one to talk, now that I’m not commuting on the metro, I don’t have as much time to write blog entries.

    7. Beercrazyjen  July 6, 2006

      Good job, that will teach you to hang out at that crappy bar. Way to go Dover Pigs! I’m surprised half of them know how to wipe their asses let alone find some crime and get it under control.

    8. Alicia  July 14, 2006

      Thanks for the laugh…Hilarious story…when I lived in Dover, I used to go to Mikes’. There were always fights, but I love the bartenders there, they are cool!


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