Fuck, I got tagged.

Instructions: You got “tagged!” … Once you’ve been tagged, you have to write a blog with 10 weird, random things, facts or habits about yourself. At the end, you choose 10 people to be tagged and list their names and why you chose them to be tagged. Don’t forget to leave a comment that says “you are tagged” on their profile and to read your latest blog. Have fun!

So my friend Cookie thought she’d tag me on Myspace. I figured what the hell at least it will give me something to write about and prove how ‘odd’ I really am.

1. Sometime I randomly get scenes flash in my head about harming people out of the blue. For example, I could be out having dinner with friends. I would be laughing and having fun but then I would look down and see my silverware and instantly I picture myself picking up a knife, fork, (or spoon), and stabbing some one with it in the face. So far I haven’t actually done it yet, so thats a good thing. But is it normal?

2. I chew my nails. I do it so much that sometimes they bleed a little. Normally I don’t even realize I’m doing it until I feel a twang o’ pain. Then I think to myself: ‘fuck!, stop biting your nails’. But five minutes later I’m chewin’ on em again. I guess I need to keep some gum handy at all times or something.

3. When seated at a restaurant, I need to sit in the seat where the least amount of people could sit behind me, and I prefer to face the door too. Every time I’m out, I have to take a second to make a mental note as to where my seat should be, and if I’m stuck sitting in the less optimal spot, it would bother the hell out of me the whole time I’m there.

4. I have a lot of lucid dreams. For those who might not know what that is, it’s when you know you’re dreaming. In the dreams I sometimes try to hold onto something to see if I’d have it still when I wake up. You know like in the old nightmare on elm st. movies. I know it will never happen, but how fucking great would it be to wake up with a stack of hundred dollar bills in your hand?

5. If I was in the wrong about something, I always feel the need to apologize to that person, if it’s something small or huge, it doesn’t matter. I won’t be able to forget about it until I make an effort to tell the person I was wrong.

6. On the flip side to #5, if some one wrongs me and doesn’t apologize then I tend to go into revenge mode and will do what I can to ‘get even’ with them even if it takes a long long time. I know this isn’t a good thing but eh, whatever.

7. Sometimes I annoy the wife on purpose just to see how far I can take it before she is ready to kill me. This is also much more fun in public places. For example I refer you to the ‘I Might me Jesus Story‘. (love ya babe.)

8. I go out of my way to avoid killing anything and don’t like it when people make it a point to kill something. Like if a spider crawled across my desk, I might find a way to pick it up and move it somewhere else so it doesn’t crawl on (or bite) me, but I don’t think it’s fucking fair to just squash it and I hate it when people do that. There are two points I’d like to make here to go along with this:
A. This does not apply to roaches because #6 applies here, you see when I was a kid we lived with roaches and they would get into our food, which I consider a wrong doing on their behalf and since no roach has had the guts to stand up and apologize to me for that, then I am compelled to smush what ever guts they may have inside them on what ever surface, they may be crawling on at the time I see them.
B. Not killing things is good as it is directly opposed to my apparent violent impulses that I mentioned in #1. So perhaps I won’t ‘accidentally’ ever kill someone someday. 😀

9. I want to be rich then give all my money away to poor people, save for enough to leave my family well off. But first I gotta find a way to get rich before I pick some random homeless guy ( a real homeless guy, not one of those fake homeless guys who claim that that ‘will work for food.’ No real homeless guys have signs like that! They say stuff like “Give me money for beer, please.”) and I would write him a $50,000 check. But now that I think about it… it might be fun to dress up in a suit, rent a limo, and cruise around the city with a camera guy, then stop random poor people on the street and write out a fake check to them for a large sum of money while filming their reactions. In fact, this might just be the perfect way for me to get rich! Hmmm. It is quite possible Satan himself may have been one of my ancestors.

10. Don’t tell anyone but I secretly dress up in women’s clothing and parade around the house singing Christina Aguilera songs…. O.K. so I’m kidding about that but I do like to say randomly dumb shit out of the blue that people aren’t expecting just so they might have a “What the fuck?” moment.

So that’s that. Now I got to pick ten random suckers to tag:
1. My Wifey – well, because… she’s my wife?
2. Jess – She likes to write so this should get her away from the damn survey spam.
3. BeerCrazyJen – Because I can’t wait to see this ’10 list’
4. Hannah – A good bloggin’ buddy.
5. Everyone – Man fuck this, I don’t feel like picking people anymore. I’m just posting a bulletin instead.

3

Comments

  1. stacy  October 7, 2007

    i always knew you were crazy…now there is written proof! “i was crazy once, and then the worms, the worms came…”

    reply
  2. The Wifey  October 8, 2007

    You are the greatest husband ever.

    reply

Add a Comment


  1. blog  October 30, 2007