Sitting here staring at the computer monitor wondering what the hell am i doing just sitting here staring at the computer monitor. I should be out pimping bitches or at the very least getting drunk at some random Delaware redneck bar. I could go play pool with ex-convict bikers or I could be throwing dice with the gangstas behind a dumpster in the projects. hell yeah. I hear my son Aaron calling me from the other room and I snap out of my little day dream.

"Daddy, Can you make Cock out of the computer!"

Wait a second. what did he just say??

"What?!"

"I said, Can. You. Make. Cock. Out. Of. The. computer!"

I hear my wife laughing.

"What the fuck did you say Aaron?" I honestly hope he just didn't ask me to make cock from the computer. that's not cool at all. did my wife put him up to this? What does that even mean? I hear him sigh and run out of our bedroom and into his room. My wife is still laughing. It sounds like Aaron is in his closet throwing his toys on to the floor.

"What the fuck?" (is going on) She's laughing, Aaron's destroying his room, and I'm wondering if it's early enough to drink myself into a drunken coma. I hear Aaron running out of his room and into the computer room where I'm still sitting and still staring blankly into the computer monitor.

He says " Daddy. I SAID. can you make HULK out of the computer"

Huh? I look over and he is holding a toy Incredible Hulk. I couldn't help but to bust out laughing. Because when he was in the other room shouting through a closed door, his voice was muffled and he pronounced it like "OLK" wich in his accent does actually make Hulk rhyme with Cock. Anyway, I knew what he wanted now. He was trying to ask me to find 'the hulk' on a torrent site. Download it, (downloading movies on the Internet is wrong, kiddies) and burn it to a DVD for him. So he could watch it in his room while going to sleep.

I am somewhat relieved. My son might be a 4 year old movie pirate but at least he isn't gay and that makes a father very proud.

But don't you guys worry. Aaron's not getting the hulk movie anyhow. It was a steaming pile of crap. he doesn't need to be watching horribly made movies like that. it could seriously mess with his psychological growth if he's brought up thinking badly made movies like that are acceptable. what kind of parent do you think I am?