Cell Phones and Horror

I just watched the second episode in the second season of in Showtime’s Masters of Horror. The Episode’s title: The ‘V’ Word, Directed by Ernest Dickerson with some ass king special effects by Mr. Greg Nicotero. Unfortunately I am not here to talk about the show itself, but one very tiny problem I had with it, and to be fair, almost all modern horror movies.

Fucking Cell Phones. Directors now days are including small scenes in their movies making note of cell phone usage. It’s almost always the same in every film. I’ve noticed it for awhile and usually forgot about the small interruption to the story. Except in the case of this episode of MOH, they would not let the issue go. No less than four times did characters mention their Dead/Left at home/Broken cells. It seriously distracted me from what was going on.

In one scene a message on an answering machine is played with some good back story only to have the conversation end like this: “Oh, and uh, don’t try to call me back, my Cell phone is dead” Yeah, thanks for that piece of info. That’s normally how I end my messages to people, by giving them the status of my Cell Phone.

Moving along, here are what you normally see in regards to Cell Phones and Horror Movies.

A. We see a character on the phone or trying to call someone, then we hear them exclaim “No Service” How damn convenient that the killers only operate in areas without cellphone reception?

B. Two characters are casually talking and one of them makes a point to mention they had either forgotten their cell phone or the battery had died. Ya, it sounds more realistic, but think about this, what are the chances that that person would have the only phone? Everyone fucking has them, if someone had a dead phone, some one else would just be like: ‘Dude, use mine. Call 911 before this psycho kills us”

B(2). So what if the person is alone, when they noticed their dead cell phone. This usually seems to take place while they are driving, so raise your hand if you have a cell phone, but didn’t buy a car charger.

C. The damn thing just don’t work. I like this option the best. It is kind of funny to see the barefooted cheerleader running from the dude with the chainsaw grab her phone and franticly try to call for help only to find out her phone got broken somehow.

Don’t get me wrong, it does serve a plot device, you show that help for our on screen victims isn’t coming and probably if you didn’t include these scenes, some douche would bitch about it, wondering why they didn’t use a cell. Take the risk just leave the damn phones out of the movie. I’d rather just assume they just don’t own a cell phone than to see one more god damn scene dedicated to why the phone doesn’t work.

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