Ba Humbug
Twas the night before Christmas
and all through the house
everybody was fucking
even the mouse
Mom at the whorehouse
and Dad smoking grass
I'd just settled down
for a nice piece of ass
When out on the lawn
I heard such a clatter
I sprung from my ass
to see what was the matter
Then out on the lawn
I saw a big dick
I knew in a moment
it must be Saint Nick
He came down the chimney
like a bat out of hell
I knew in a moment
that fat fucker had fell
He filled all our stockings
with playboys and beer
and a big rubber dick
for my brother, the queer
He rose up the chimney
with a thunderous fart
The son of a bitch
blew the chimney apart
He swore and he cursed
as he rode out of sight
He Pissed on you all
and have a hell of a night!"
Happy Holidays Fuckers.
With a little old driver
holding his dick
I new in a minute
that bastard was Nick
Oh my. You have some issues, my friend
lol funny stuff 
whered you get this? My first boyfriend a long time ago gave me this poem LOL…wouldnt it be weird if you were him….
haha maybe i am. send me a pic