I’ll take a day off from my normal updates and share with you something I just found on a forum that I read often. It’s re-posted without permission, so if I’m asked I’ll take it down, but it’s some good info, and it’s pretty funny, and since it’s relevant to the project I figured it would be worth the share.
Posted by Hotstox:
There is a good chance if you are reading this you fit one of the following builds. Before you take offense to this, realize this thread is not meant to be insulting. I’ve been through it. Check your ego at the door and listen. Before you think “I’m just going to get rich with IM shit and fuck hot chicks, fuck getting my swole on”. Shut up. Life is not like the movies. Yeah you may snag the occasional make-out session with a local barfly by flashing a few Benny’s and wearing a nice watch, but guess what. That 40 year old construction worker at the end of the bar wearing his carhart, and work jeans fucked her in the parking lot last weekend. Confidence is key. I’m not going to get into how to get game or pick up chicks, or shit like that in this thread. That shit is even more of a science than macro-nutrients and caloric intake/deficits and shit. Let’s just say with the economy tanking more women are okay with fucking broke dudes, as long as they are decent looking. Unless your making Harro kinda cash you probably wont get much poon because of your money. You will however end up buying too many drinks for chicks who have no intention of giving you some lovin.
Anyway here are the groups!
You are fatter than you think, believe me. It took me years to accept the fact that I was not just stocky. I played on the line during my high school football years, and I was always told by coaches to eat, lift, eat, lift, eat, lift. What they forgot to tell me is that after school ends you need to cut back on the eating. I was a decently solid 205 when I graduated (turned 19 the day I graduated, and by the time I hit 21 I was ~250, and worked out every year or so lol. Keep this in mind before you think I am being insulting or talking down to you.
Skinny Fat –
You are around or below your ideal weight for your age and height. Somehow or another you don’t have any definition, your ribs are the closest thing to abs that you see, and your arms look way to small for your body. You probably have bad posture, and you probably eat 10 times worse than the fat/obese group.
Your probably skinny fat, but just in case you are in the normal group I will throw this in there. You probably played sports when you were a teenager, and you can hold your own in the spur of the moment pickup game at the park. You just want to put some mass on so you have arms/abs/whatever.
Now that we got that out of the way I am going to address the Fat/Obese group first. I lost about 145 lbs within about 6 months, using not the most healthiest of methods (running around 7 miles a day while eating ~650 calories). I don’t really suggest this in hindsight. I did however do a good job keeping the fat off. The biggest reason I don’t suggest this is you probably wont be as disciplined as I was about gradually increasing your calories after you hit your target weight. Your metabolism will be a train wreck, and your stomach will not stay skrink wrapped for long.
The most important thing you have to realize is how calories work. In order to lose weight you have to consume less calories than you work off. Depending on your age, weight, height, activity, genes, etc. you will have a daily total of calories that you burn through the course of a day. There are a variety of calculators/charts on google that will help you find yours.
A pound of fat = ~3,500 calories
In order to get rid of a pound of fat you need to have a DEFICIT of ~3,500 calories. Some people swear by this number, but I try to use it as a rule of thumb. Before I go into how to burn more calories, I am going to explain a little bit more about them, by telling you about the 3 main macro-nutrients.
Protein – 1 Gram = 4 Calories
This is going to be your new best friend. I could write a god damned book about it. It’s essential for losing weight, building muscle, and life in general.
Carbohydrates – 1 Gram = 4 Calories
Think energy. Think rice. Think Sugar. Think moderation. The twats behind The Atkins Diet would have you believe carbs are the devil. That’s pretty much bullshit for anyone not wanting to look like Moby with saggy skin. You NEED carbs. They are just as important as protein to any weight loss/gain diet. There are simple and complex carbs. Each have their place, but for a weight loss diet you are going to want to eat foods with complex carbs. They are slow digesting, and you can find them in whole grains foods, brown rice, etc. You can get damn near any noodle now in whole grain for about the same price, and they taste the same.
Fats/Lipids – 1 Gram = 9 Calories
I know what your thinking. Holy fuck there are over twice as many calories per gram of fat than in carbs/protein. That means in fatty foods there are over twice as many calories per bite. That means it takes you more than twice as many calories to be full. See where I am going with this? Like carbs though fats get a bad rep. They are also pretty important in most diets (in moderation).
Now that we know how that works I am going to get to give an example of some diets. I not only lost over 100 lbs at one go, I’ve since dropped 15-20 lbs tons of times. I have this shit down to a science. I know my body, and how it reacts to what. Yours will be similar, but different in a few ways. I have fucked around with pretty much any diet you can name (not you atkins, fuck you). Before you start to think this shit is complicated… it’s not. Before giving you info on diets we need to get some shit outa the weigh. Remember 1 lbs of fat = 3,500 calories. So if your diet consists of 1,500 calories, and your burning ~ 2,500 daily, you can expect to lose just under 10 lbs of fat a month. That is just a guideline, and that’s weak sauce.
Here is my favorite calculate for BMR. This is going to be important if you want to set goals. Go there, be honest, and figure out your daily caloric expenditure. BE HONEST.
Weight yourself in the morning, after a good long piss and before eating/drinking anything. You are going to lose 10 lbs within a week or two when you first start that is mainly just water weight. I suggest weighing yourself only once a week or so after a few weeks, or you will be driving yourself crazy when you don’t see results day to day.
Okay we got that out of the way, so here goes. This is an ideal fat-loss diet. It’s not the one I used, but I would if I had to do it all over again.
Most people eat around 2-3 large meals a day. Fuck that. You want to be eating 4-6 small meals daily. There are a few good reasons for this, one is to avoid getting your body into famine mode. Your metabolism will drop like crazy if you cash diet. Also calories are burned while your body is digesting whole foods. This is kinda like working out even when your not, but not really.
First let’s take your BMR, you did figure that out right? CALCULATOR .Experts say when someone is trying to lose weight through diet, and diet alone, you should be eating less than 40% of your calories from carbohydrates, and 30% of your calories from protein and fat. This is what most nutrionists suggest. Personally I get my fatties on 60% protien 30% carbs, 10% (good) fats. This is harder than it looks. Remember how calorie dense fatty foods are? Well non fatty foods are the opposite. I have to force feed myself to get 700 calories from chicken and brown rice, while one burger from BK would get me that much and I would still be hungry The shit is TOO filling. On a diet this is great. So let me break down my suggested diet with a demo.
Let’s say your BMR is 2,500. You decide to get on a diet with a 1k calorie deficit a day (remember were not talking about getting you training yet, which fucking sky rockets your BMR, and calorie deficit). In order to follow me diet, you would need to eat the follow breakdown of macro-nutrients spread out over 4-6 meals a day. This is just a guideline to get you thinking..
60% Protiens ( 900 Calories) = ~225 Grams
30% Carbs (450) ~ 112 Grams
10% Fats (150) ~17 Grams
Total Daily intake = 1,500 Calories)
This is where things get tricky. Each of the three basic nutrients also have sub categories. There are faster/slow acting carbs and proteins. There are good/bad fats. A good rule of thumb is avoid refined sugars. I will get more in depth as the questions come in about these.
Diet Killer 1:
Booze, This one should be obvious. Along with being dense with tons of empty calories, alcohol also has been found to fuck with the fat burning process. There are a few other more scientific reasons that are beyond my scope, but booze is bad. If your gonna booze here are some suggestions on what to drink and what to avoid. I don’t suggest drinking while you first lose the weight, mainly because even if you follow strict guideliness and use moderation, when you do drink you typically don’t give a fuck about what you eat, and it’s hard to workout on a hangover. Lest we forget we don’t want to be dehydrated for our diet or training.
Do Drink: Bacardi and Diet, Straight Shots, MGD 64, Michelob Ultra.
Don’t Drink: Mixed drinks, redbull drinks(unless sugar free), Pop (soda if you want to be a cunt about it). Most mixed drinks hover at around 400-500 calories a pop, and are full of more sugar than booze. A bacardi and diet has around 80 calories, while a margarita often comes out to 600+ calories. Drink smarter!
Diet Killer 2:
Friends/Girlfriends. They are likely skinny fat, and will be the first obstacle to eating clean. I fell into this trap a year after losing the weight when I got engaged. It’s easy to eat bad when your getting regular wuss, or everyone else at the table is pigging out. Try not to eat out, and when you do get a grilled chicken ceasar salad or something. Most places have it, and if they don’t find something along those lines. Don’t worry about what people think, after a few times they will start to respect your discipline, and I don’t give a shit what your girl says, she would much rather be fucking a dude without a gut, and ideally some solid arms to grab on to. Believe me I can tell the difference in how girls fuck me now, and when I was fat. It used to be more doggy style, and less riding. Nothings hotter than when the chick feels like she’s fucking a porn star, and decides to lick your abs and feel your arms while she’s going to town. So throw that I love you for you bullshit out the window right now. MOST chicks would prefer a healthier you. Even if they already love the fatty mcfatpants you.
Diet Killer 3:
Gatorade, Pop (soda for the cunts).
You are not tiger god damned woods. You don’t need a fucking gatorade every time you sweat. This one was hard on me. I used to drink a 2 liter + of pop a day. Now remember how calories work? Yeah over 1k in empty fucking calories a day, and I wondered why I was fat. That’s + 1 lbs of fat every 4 days or so. Gatorade is full of sugar and shit. It’s actually got it’s place too in my diet, but I lose over 5 lbs in sweat every time I train, and even then I still rarely kill a 32 oz. If your from the south and you drink sweet tea cut that shit out too. I am addicted to unsweet tea now. It’s normal up north, but now that I live in NC people look at me like I am crazy. It, along with black coffee has 0 calories, and since it’s got our favorite stimulant caffeine you actually end up burning calories by drinking it.
Diet Killer 4:
You. You are human. It took me a few times to realize this shit is a journey, not a destination (thanks Bruce Lee). I am still evolving. I lost the 100 lbs fast, but ended up skinny. I lost all my muscle mass, and I wound up looking like every other skinny guy out there. To me, as a man I would rather be fat than skinny. So I switched gears, cut back my running, got on a bulking diet, and started lifting again. My friends back home don’t see me that often and they call me a shapeshifter. Everytime I go home I look different. I moved to nc then lost all the weight so at first it was skinny. Then I got on a body building type program, got a v taper going, bigger arms, and it was “built”.
Then I switched gears and started doing a crossfit type style training (think the thing the guys in 300 did), and I started to look athletic. The key is to never quit. You just switch gears. When you hit your target weight, start trying to put some mass on, while keeping your body fat the same. I went from a skinny 145 ( 7% bodyfat), to a ripped 165 (5-6% bodyfat).
One day it’s gonna happen like it did to me. You wont realize your getting skinny. You will hop out of the shower and not recognize yourself. Your ass, your back, your gut. Everything will be different. It’s a progressive change, but it will hit you all at once. I still thought I was fat at 145, you WILL develop manorexia. You can’t lose this much weight without geting some deep seated emotional issues.
Now that we got your diet under fucking control let’s figure out how to both increase your metabolism AND increase muscle mass. This is where we pick back up with you Skinny Fatties. I am going to approach them a little differently though, since the goals are usually the opposite… to GAIN wieght.
————————–END OF DIET SHIT—————————
Training: Sell your soul for swole! Okay like calories, and diet this is a vague title for a broad term. Training can cover muscle gain, fat loss, or both. There are as many styles of training as there are trainers. I’ve done a bit of everything. I’ve trained for endurance by running to drop weight (7+ miles a day running), I’ve trained to put muscle on (4-5 day splits with resistance training/weights). I’ve trained to gain muscle while losing fat, I’ve trained to prepare for boxing/mma. So what I am going to do is list some basics to get things moving.
Running: Fatties this is your meal ticket. Get a good pair of shoes and an ipod with some good tunes. You will chafe, your nipples may or may not bleed, and your shins will feel as if a midget is consistently kicking them. The first week SUCKS. But with the program im giving to you, some vasseline on your nipples, and the right stretching none of that is needed! If you have never ran before I strongly suggest the Couch to 5k program. This program starts slow, and builds you up from running 30 seconds at a time to running 3 miles straight over the course of a couple months. This is my default suggestion for anyone whose obese, smokes, or is in a position I can’t directly put them on a more specific program. It can be found here, and this entire site will help you. Check out the stretches, and search how to avoid shin splints. Those will keep you from quiting a week into it. Shin splints do not last forever! Here is the Couch to 5k Plan Link
Resistance/Weight Training: Skinnys and Fatties both need to be doing this. This seems pretty straight forward but it really ain’t. It CAN and should be pretty simple, but it’s easy to join a gym and end up confused, and doing a bunch of retarded machines and isolation exercises. Lay off the curls and tri-pushdowns for now chief. To get you moving we are going to focus on multi-jointed compound lifts, with lower volume/reps and heavier weights. I had a background in weight lifting after becoming a skinny so it was easy for me jump right back into it without much thought or guidance. I just needed to realize I could not lift nearly as much at first. Luckily muscle has memory and I was back to my normal weights without putting anything on but pure muscle. To kick start your workout routing I am going to suggest you start out with the tried and true 5×5 workout. Click Here for the full workout. Hit up youtube for proper form. These lifts can be modified to fit your gym. Not all gyms have bumpers for cleans, so you can do hang cleans. etc. More is not always better. I can bring a combat seasoned marine to tears with nothing more than a 35 lbs kettlebell and some open space.
Now that we got the basics of training out of the way I want to do the same thing I did with diet. You can waste a ton of time working out. I won’t get into the nutriotion aspect of it yet, since a lot of it contradicts the anti-fatty diet above. I will suggest you get on a good multi-vitamin and pick up some whey protein to get started. Supplements are critical after you workout for a few months, but getting started they are not as important for gains. I could write a fucking book on supplements. To give you an example here is what I take daily in addition to my diet.
Multi-Vitamin (only gnc product I suggest is their Multi with big red letters on the box that says Sports.
BCAA (branched chain amino acids)
I cycle in some other shit randomly to test it out, but you can see how would complicated to start talking about after I just gave you a bunch of other info.
Training shit to avoid:
Isolation Exercises. Those expensive machines in gyms are the devil for a new trainer. They take up too much time, and train less than the compound lifts listed in 5×5. They have their place in your future, but right now you have no use for them. Think about it this way. I once read a normal bicep curl will use ~ 3% of your total muscles during exercise, while deadlifts use well over 90%. This may be a bit skewed, but it’s very indicative of why compounds lifts are more important for new trainers. I’m not saying don’t work the guns, but I am saying you won’t be getting much out of your hammer curls if you can’t even do a single pull-up….
Talking in the gym
You will soon become a regular at your local gym. If your like me it’s easy to end up talking to some of the other regulars for 20 minutes in between sets. If you pay attention to their build over the course of a month or two, what weights they are using, etc. you will find most of them use the gym as more of a social venue than anything. If you want to look the same in 6 months do what they do, otherwise put your ipod on, and try not to talk to anyone without a vagina during your training. If you want to stick around before or after and spend time bullshitting then awesome, but when you hit the floor you better be ready to lift.
I personally use the gym as my alone time. It’s where I reflect on my life, the day, drama, work shit, where I am in life, where I was, where I am going, etc. I used to listen to strictly metal while training, but I find myself listening to more ballads now than anything, thanks to an article by Henry Rollins (of The Rollins band… you whippersnappers)..
It’s called The Iron, and it’s something that really hit close to me. Here it is. It’s a must read even if you can’t relate to it yet, you eventually will if you find yourself caught up in lifting..
Okay so there is the first part of the thread. It’s scattered, and I really have no desire to pretty it up (if you want to put it in a text file and email me it email@example.com , and I will edit it. It’s not easy making the decision to change your life, but it’s worth it. Look if it’s not for you (yet), then move on. Don’t trash talk about how we all should be happy with who we are and all that bullshit. I am a bajillion times happier with my life now that I am in shape. I am healthier than I was at 18, (25 now), I get way more ass, and I take my shirt off at the beach.
Warnings/Disclaimers ! omgoooses!
People will hate you for looking better. Most people gain weight after high school. All my athlete friends are fat and balding right now. My best friend was the captian qb of my football team, basketball, track, etc. He was athletic, got more ass than a boyband, and generally looked good. Last time I saw him he didn’t even mention my transformation in front of anyone, and he was about 40 lbs heavier, and had not worked out in years. He pulled me aside and asked me for tips.
When I go back home and hook up with the hot chicks I could’nt get in high school, I’ve heard people say I got cocky, or arrogant, etc. I really didnt. I just gained the confidence that’s impossible to have when you are not REALLY happy with how you look. I was actually a pretty happy fat kid too I should add. I just had no idea how much better it would feel. The only ones likely to encourage you, or compliment you along the way are your parents, and SOME other family members. It’s a lot like making money. If you already started making serious dough , working from home, your own hours, you know exactly what I mean. Everyone wants to do it, but noone wants to pay their dues, or give you respect. They think it’s eays, or lucky, or whatever.
Any advice given is for enterainment purposes only. If you kill yourself training or dieting it’s your own damn fault. Take some accountablility. Train hard, but train safe. It’s hard to get swole with an injury.