My real name is Jared Bish. I am journalist. Like you, I am a member of the resistance. None of you knew me by my real name but I feel like sharing since it no longer is of any importance to keep that information secret. Because of my previous messages and resistance operations, some of you called me a leader, but I’m no leader, I’m just a citizen fighting for what I believe. My guess, I’m just like each and everyone of you who are doing the same.
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Tanya sent me a craigslist link: FREE MONKEY TO GOOD HOME,(links dead now, but the ad said free monkey to good home. it was from a collage student who said he couldnt keep him and it had a phone number) I was all like “fuck yeah, a monkey!” It’s just one of those things you want but when you got the money you never think, ‘I’m going to buy me that monkey I always wanted’. But this monkey didn’t even need to be paid for, no sir, this monkey was 100% free to a good home. Guess what I have? A good home. Sounds like a match made in monkey heaven right?
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This is pretty funny so I thought I would share. Warning: NSFW
“Hey There Delilah”
by John Cheese
